A few more thoughts about the wedding

I have been married 10 days and it doesn't feel any different.
i just wanted to say that my wedding day was the best day of my life. I married my soulmate and my best friend and I am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with him.
AND - the day was PERFECT!
(I had a little drama with the dress - thanks again Tide to Go Pen - but otherwise...)
Food was tasty, flowers were beautiful, DJ was awesome, the photographer did an amazing job, drinks were flowing, it didn't rain (although was a little humid) and it seemed everyone had a good time. I will have happy memories of this day for the rest of my life!
YEA!

Wedding Bliss

The deed is done. The fees have been paid, the license has been filed and just like that we are married.

Woo Hoo!

Saturday was a great day! It was a little touch and go for both of us earlier in the day - we were both so nervous that we felt like we were going to get sick. Luckly neither of us did.

We started the day with photos at 3 pm at the house "getting ready." We then headed to Mt. Vernon and the the Washington Monument (here in Baltimore) for some wedding party photos.

It was threatening to rain (sort of - the weather report said 50% chance for the entire day.) Thank goodness it didn't rain - although it was REALLY hot walking around in my dress outside.

We took a lot of good pics. At one point i got rust on my dress and my girls came to my rescue. Thank you ladies! (And Tide to Go pen!!)

We made it to Chase Court around 5 and took a few family photos and then I escaped to the bride's room to hide out until the ceremony.

I was still kinda nervous about the ceremony but i knew it would work out and it did! Our friend MB did the ceremony and it was GREAT! He really took the whole thing seriously and did an amazing job! I don't really know how to thank him enough.

The ceremony was a "land speed record" as the hubby ;-) would say. I think from start to finish took about 20 minutes. It was a fast 20 minutes. The entire thing just flew by and before i knew it we were done. I'm pretty sure I only took a breath about once a minute. (dress was a little tight.)

We took some more family pics during the cocktail hour and we were able to actually eat some of our appetizers.

We sort of fumbled through our first dance but it was WAAY better than if we had not taken any lessons at all.

Next we had dinner - yummy! I hope everyone had enough to eat. I didn't get to try any of the cheese. Darn.

Then we did toasts. My sisters was quite nice and the best man's was really personal and embarassed the hubby (aka Mr. Hokie). We opened up the dance floor, ate some cake, and before i knew it it was time to wrap up the party. WOW! It went by soooo fast.

I had a great time and i know Mr. Hokie did too.

Thank you to everyone who came! We are really glad that you were able to be a part of the big day!

Last Night as Miss....

Tomorrow is the big day. Just wanted to do a quick post to say that i'm really looking forward to tomorrow. I am also super nervous about the whole thing - although i am pretty confident that things will be fine. the weather looks kinda sketchy with 50% chance of thunderstorms all day. great.
If i'm am conscious i will write again on Sunday with a recap of the day's events.
Woo Hoo!
D

Dream: Round 2

So... as I was trying to say earlier

9 days to go. I'm going nuts. I don't know if i'm going to make it.

I've been really flaky at work (i totally spaced and didn't remember to do a memo for the BOSS until the last minute) and at home. Just forgetting stuff.

Monday night I had another wedding dream - about food. I don't remember what the problem was but i remember being worried about the food.

Tuesday night I went to bed early at 10:15 pm since i had to get up early the next day to do the memo... I couldn't fall asleep b/c I things were running through my mind about wedding day logistics and all of the "to do" items for the day of.
Who is bring the liquor to the location? bringing it home?
who is driving D and I? driving us home?
who is bringing the picture frame?
who is meeting the vendors?
etc etc etc.
So i rolled over to look at the clock and it was 11:45 pm! AAAHHH! So i wrote everything down that i was thinking about and promptly went to sleep.

Today I am at work but i just want to go home. I have no meetings. I feel like crud. I think the margaritas last night might have something to do with that.....

Bundle of Nerves

I am going nuts. I am a bundle of nerves - have been for the last week or so. I've got a nervous rash on my finger. I've gotten these before when i was in college and I was worried about finals. Great.
I am getting increasingly nervous about the wedding (3 weeks and 1 day) and I am SUPER nervous about my race on Sunday.
S.O. and I rode the bike portion of the tri last weekend. 15 miles. uuuggghhh. Once I got to the first BIG hill around mile 5 I totally lost it. I had to get off my bike and walk it up the hill. how depressing....
There were two other SUPER big hills around mile 8 and then one last beeeotch of a hill at mile 14. I was able to ride those hills but it was unbelieveably painful and scary.
At this point I just want to finish the race standing up. It is going to be hard.
To top it all off it is supposed to rain this weekend and I am scared to death of wiping out going DOWN the big hills. When I rode them last weekend I was going REALLY fast and I am inexperienced with riding in the rain. Fun Times. If I don't type again anytime soon it is because I broke my arms flying over my handle bars during the race.
I will post an update after the race.

Third Wedding Freakout

Last night I had a dream that my DJ died and we didn't have one for the wedding. It was really wierd. I was sort of half-awake/asleep and I remember thinking "is this a dream? Did he really die?" and in my dream state i kept coming to the conclusion that he did. UUUggghhh. It wasn't a plesant dream.
5 weeks to go from today.
Also - just got the RSVP from the BOSS. He is coming.

Second Wedding Freak Out

(Originally drafted on Thursday, 5/8)
I had my second wedding freak-out this morning. If you don't already know this about me some might say that i obsess about certain things. One being my ability to adequately plan ahead and be prepared... A little OCD about a few things. So, for my wedding invitations I was hardcore about making sure I had the correct postage. Dad worked at the post office and warned me that he had to give some bad news to some brides b/c they didn't have the right postage on their invitations. I knew that b/c I was over 1 oz and the envelope was not a standard size (it was square) that I would have to pay more for my postage.
In the days leading up to mailing the inviations I went to the post office THREE different times and had the guy weigh it every time and factor in the cost for the irregular envelope -and everytime i went he told me that it was going to be 75 cents. So I bought a bunch of 75 cent stamps.
So.... Significant Other and I stuffed, sealed, and stamped all of the invitations and I took them to work with me this morning. I stopped in at the Union Station post office since i didn't want to carry them across the Hill to my office - and after waiting in line for about 5 minutes - and with a long line behind me - I asked the lady at the counter to confirm that I had proper postage on the envelope. She said....
No!
She said that I was 22 cents short. I asked her if she was serious - yes she said. I told her I had 67 of these envelopes and that I couldn't deal with this right now - and I left.
On the verge of tears and quietly trying to calm myself down so that I totally don't start screaming I walked across the Hill to my building. I went to the post office in the basement of my building and handed the guy the envelope. I asked him if I had correct postage. He said 75 cents "should" get them to their location. Huh? I was soooo drained and I didn't want to deal with it any more - so I said fine - and handed him all of my invitations. Hoping upon hope that the lady at the Union Station post office was just mistaken.
UPDATE: 5/12: so.... apparently i was 22 cents short - FOR SOME OF THE INVITES but not for all. What could be the cause of this? I asked my dad who said that i was probably right on the verge of going up to the next ounce (22 cent increments) and that some of the scales at the destination post offices might be "off" and therefore SOME of my invites might be 22 cents short.
Of course it is totally random and I have no way of knowing whose invitation this will impact. This lovely situation occured with my fiancee's parents - they got a notice from the post office that there is an envelope waiting for them "postage due" and that if they want to get it they need to go to the post office and PAY 22 cents to get the freaking invitation. SERIOUSLY! This also happened with my aunts and uncles in Wisconsin - but not for folks in Baltimore or DC.
VERY UPSETTING but there is nothing I can do..... I will just need to call people in a few weeks and ask if they are going to come or not. I doubt I would go to the postoffice to pick up a postage due envelope.
I suck.

Wedding Dream # 2

So last night I had my second dream about the wedding... really it was about wedding planning. I spent the good part of Sunday evening finishing up addressing invitations and was thinking about all of the things we still need to do in the next week - finish getting addresses from people, print direction cards, figure out how much it will cost to mail the invites (non-standard envelope and 2 oz = approx .75 each - BUT the postal rates are going up in a week so we need to get these out the door soon), then figure out favors. I've decided I don't want to have any. I want to make a donation to a local charity.
My dream was basically just a repeat of what i spent all day doing on Sunday. Over and Over and Over. I was tired when i woke up. not fun. At least i haven't started freaking out. Yet.
Bridal shower is this Sat. I'm nervous. It is weird being the center of attention... i need to make sure i don't drink too much - as i've seen happen with other brides at their showers.
Super busy. Every weekend has something planned between now and the wedding. 9 weeks and 4 days to go.

The Wedding Biz: A Complete Scam or A Complete Sham - You Be The Judge!

FIRST - WTF? What in the heck is this ridiculous thing? A pink flask - this is marketed as a bridesmaid gift (can be personalized). AAAHHH!! This is what's wrong with the wedding industry. Slap the color pink on it and the word "wedding" and you are good to go! you can sell anything this way...

I digress....

S.O. and I have been planning the wedding in earnest over the last few months and let me tell you... it has been a very eye-opening endeavor.

Add the word "wedding" to any product and immediately add 25 - 50% to the price of whatever it is you need to buy: party invitations or wedding invitations; party DJ or wedding DJ; photographer or wedding photographer. Ridiculous.

I've been trying to be as low maintenance as possible through this whole process and I've been trying to do this "my way." Which is to say - carefully, logical, and thorough. Unfortunately the wedding business is not set up this way - I am being thwarted at every turn in my efforts.

Wanting to do this "my way" or be an "unconventional bride" is quite difficult.

The industry conspires against you the moment you say "yes." I tried from the beginning to avoid BRIDAL SHOWS but was unsuccessful. We needed a florist, photographer, and DJ and thought that "wouldn't it be a great idea to go to the bridal show and kill three birds with one stone in one afternoon."

S.O. and I were able to pick a location and a caterer on our own and thought we were doing pretty well without delving into the seedy underworld of BRIDAL SHOWS but we took a chance.
OH MY GOD! From the moment we walked in to the moment we were able to escape it was the most horrifying moment of my life.

As soon as you walk in the door you have to check in at the front desk - this involves filling out a form with all of your contact information and some really fine print that i should have read. (i now get at least 3 fliers A DAY in the mail trying to sell me wedding crap.) Next you are assigned a number and you get a sheet of paper with your number printed on it 100 times. What you are supposed to do is then for every vendor you visit you put your number in a little box and at the end of the day (5 pm - must be present to win) each vendor chooses a number and that person wins a prize! Yea! AAAAHHHH - the first thing i did was throw my numbers away. While we were there looking for a florist, DJ, and photographer - it seemed like all of the other brides (most of whom were about 5 - 10 years younger than me), moms, and girlfriends were there for EVERYTHING. Caterers, Cakes, Jewelry, Dresses, etc. They even had department stores getting people to register for gifts and banks to help people sign up for mortgages. Thank god we were late and "missed" the wedding dress fashion show.

S.O. was one of about 10 males in the place that wasn't a vendor. It was quite a painful afternoon. We left with a bag full of fliers and other crap that got thrown away as soon as we got home.

Through this process I have learned that the entire wedding industry is based on the following assumptions: (this list is in no way complete)

1. the average age of a new bride is 23.

2. the engaged woman has been "dreaming" about this "special day" since she was 10 and knows exactly what she wants.

3. the traditional rules still apply and that the bride's family will pay for almost everything and therefore it is OK to have ridiculously inflated prices

4. That women become retarded as soon as we get an engagement ring on our finger and lose all rational thought

5. That every wedding couple wants the standard wedding format complete with a "tossing bouquet" and a DJ with props

6. That the groom has no opinion on anything and whose only role is to show up

I understand that assumptions are necessary if you want to serve the greatest number of people - the problem with these assumptions is that the industry is ignoring a certain part of the population and their inflexibility makes doing this any way other than the "standard way" quite difficult.

First of all, I am a 30 year old bride who HAS NOT been dreaming about this day since i was 10. When I was 10 I was imagining that I would be the first woman astronaut on Mars and that I would have a really cool job and make lots of money. I can honestly say that I don't remember EVER imagining what my wedding would be like (i did assume that i would get married however.)

Second, I am a 30 year old bride who will be paying for ALL of this herself (along with her spouse.) No parental help here. It would be nice if people in this business didn't assume that my parents are paying for ANYTHING let alone ALL of it.

Third, because there is no financial assistance from the parents I am certainly going to make rational decisions about what I am going to spend my money on. Sure a $2000 wedding dress is nice - but so is a $800 dress, etc, etc, etc.

Fourth, In this partnership the groom is as involved in the decision making as the bride is so please AT LEAST acknowledge his presence in the room when we are having a conversation about flowers, music, etc.

.... So.... fast forward a few months... it is now mid/late November and the horrific experience of the bridal show has finally stopped haunting me. We still need a DJ and florist. We have interviewed 4 florists and received a proposal from one - should get two more soon and another one by the end of next week. We are pretty good on the florist front.

We have interviewed two DJs and decided that we need to meet with at least one more to feel like we have a good idea about the range of prices and types of DJs. Having forgotten the bridal show expierence a few months ago we decide that it would be a good idea to go to a "wine and cheese" showcase event at Martin's West and meet another DJ and their company.

The company hosting the event, "The Pros," are a "full service" wedding vendor. They have DJs, videographers, and photographers.

The event was last night - 2 days before Thanksgiving. The event start time was 6:45 - we got there around 6:55. The "Pros" were not there and were stuck in traffic. Lovely. They were coming from PA (where their corporate HQ is) and there was an accident on 95 S. So much for "Pros". We got some cheese and a glass of crappy merlot and wandered around the room looking at photo albums of people who probaly have no idea that their wedding is being used to sell a product.

Around 7:30 they announce that the "program" will being in about 5 minutes. OK great. If they didn't start by 7:45 we were outta there. The program started at 7:35 with a really crappy "stand-up" introduction by the Baltimore/Washington, DC manager. He sucked. He tried to be funny. It was starting to get uncomfortable.

After a few minutes of wedding jokes about how grooms are stupid, and moms getting emotional, and how there always someone at the reception who drinks too much, the guy introduces the head douche-bag in charge of operations - head sales schmuck. This guy's job is to tell us about the different services they provide and why their company is better than the other guys. EVERYTHING that came out of this guy's mouth was a sales pitch designed to sound like a sappy story that would (hopefully for them) make you realize that you ABSOLUTELY had to have a videographer and that without a video your kids and grandkids will hate you for it.

I really needed a drink but the wine was so crappy that it wasn't worth getting up.

When this guy was done he passed the mic back to the manager who proceeded to introduce the 6 DJs that were there. Apparently the company has 30 local DJs but only 6 were able to come to the showcase.

After the first DJ was introduced they each introduced the next DJ - i think this part was supposed to show us a how each DJ spoke and sounded. 4 of the 6 were total mush mouths and had to read the introduction of the next DJ from a card. Not a good first impression.

After all of the DJs were introduced the manager started to play some music and they (the DJs) started to do the Electric Slide - to music that WASN'T the Electric Slide song. They did that for a minute and then started to pass out leis in the audience. This was one of the little things they did during receptions to get the guests involved.

Guests are supposed to pass the leis around and when the music stops whoever has one gets a prize. yea. So we pass the leis around and at this point the evening went from "uncomfortable" to "really bad".

So they stop and start the music a few times and of course there is no "real" prize - they just tell a stupid joke... Then the last time the music stops they said whoever has the leis really DOES get a prize - they "get" to go up on the dance floor and be their "party people" for the next few songs. AAAAHHHH!!!! Thank GOD neither of us had a lei. It was at that moment that the evening went from "really bad" straight though "god awful" and directly to "Most Horrifying Event - Worst Than The Bridal Show."

We took that moment as an opportunity for escape. We got up and left. We couldn't have gotten out of there fast enough. We hopped in the car and drove away as fast as we could. We couldn't shake the stink off. It was just too disgusting and weird.

After thinking about it for a minute i realized that the "showcase" was not the right sales pitch for us. Maybe that is the best way to sell your product to those people who fit the basic assumptions about people who are getting married - but it DEFINATELY was not the best way to sell your product to us. I am still traumatized. And we still need a DJ....

PS: take a look at the Comments Section. Pretty funny given what i just wrote about the industry. Does this guy really want me as a customer???

Wedding Stuff, Date Night and Restaurant Review: Taste

Wedding Stuff - S.O. and I took the day off from work on Friday 10/22 and did wedding stuff. We had a 10 am appointment at the florist. We quickly learned that we were not prepared for this meeting and that we have a lot of work to do before we meet with another one. We need to figure out our "theme". I was under the impression that our wedding was the theme for the day, but apparently we need another one.... so i think we are going with "purple". So our meeting with the florist was a big waste of time for all involved. After the meeting we had lunch at Cross Street Market - Big Jim's Deli - one of the best club sandwiches in town (this will be the subject of a future post....)

After lunch we headed up to Towson mall to create our gift registries. We went to Macy's first. We were there for 4 hours! Painful! We picked all kinds of random stuff we don't need. Then we went to Crate and Barrel and did the same thing. Fun times.

We had dinner reservations for 7:30 but i pushed them back to 8:30 b/c it took so long to register.

Of course it was pouring down rain so D and I had to run through the rain from our car to the restaurant. I could have asked him to drop me off and park but i still would have gotten soaked. No umbrella. smart.

As soon as we entered the restaurant the hostess greeted us and started taking us to our table - soaking wet with dripping coats. I asked if we could stop at the coat check before we were seated. She seemed irritated but we walked the extra 4 feet to the coat check and got rid of our drippy coats.

We were seated upstairs along the main wall. A nice-ish seat (could have been better but it was obvious that they were not utilizing all of their "sections" b/c the place was half dead). In general our service was pretty good but our waitress seemed distracted - it looked liked she was being pestered by a new hire who was wondering where all of the customers were. Well... it was pouring down rain and one of the first chilly evenings in a while... More people showed up around 9 ish though...

Appetizers were GREAT! I had a scallop ceviche - scallops were the perfect texture and seasoned simply but there was no need for a lot. SO had the bacom wrapped shrimp and grits. In full disclosure I have never had grits before - these were AWESOME! great texture - not too mushy and the shrimp was wonderful.

We ordered a bottle of wine - recommended by the chef as one of her favorites - it was nice. Not too heavy with a nice fruity flavor.

I initially wanted to go to Taste b/c of the duckfat fries. I've read about these for a few months and really wanted to try them. They weren't on the menu so we didn't order them - BUT! I must have them! so when our waitress stopped by to check on us I asked her about them. She said they were on the bar menu. I promptly ordered us some. They came in about 10 minutes and they were very tasty! You could taste the grease but i don't know that it could be identified as "duck fat". Still... i want them again.

Our entrees were also delicious. SO had crab raviolli and i had the lobster tortillini. Both were served with a cream sauce but with different seasonings.

We got dessert but for the life of me i can't remember what we had. I'm sure it was good.

After we paid the bill we hung out in the bar area, had a few more drinks and listened to the live 3 piece jazz band that was playing. Pretty cool.

It was a good day.

Wedding Nightmare

Last night I had my first wedding nightmare. I don't remember how it started but basically it was just everything falling apart. My bridesmaids (2) weren't wearing their dresses (in jeans and t-shirts) and one of the bridesmaids was this really random scary girl i used to know a long time ago - that FREAKED me out.... No one was in their seats and as I went to meet my dad to walk down the aisle he wasn't in his tux. He too was in jeans and a t-shirt.

The first caterer we met with said that he has women calling him in the middle of the night worried about stuff and I said, oh no, i won't be that person.... oh my god i think i am! I was sooo freaked out by the dream. I just want all of this planning stuff to be done with.

Wedding Plans....

things are progressing. We have a location, a date, a caterer, a photographer, and a dress. Next things are ceremony musicians, a DJ, and a florist.... after that i need to find someone to do my hair and make-up, officiate the ceremony (in discussion now), drive our asses home after the wedding, need to decide what to do about the tux situation and bride's matron dresses (both of my bride's maids are married so they are really matrons...)
oh yea, so i found a dress today. i went into a bridal dress shop for the first time today and decided to purchase the 4th dress i tried on. My friend J picked it off the rack and said "this is a D dress." heck yea! Sweet! no need to do any more dress shopping.... i will need to find some ivory pearls though. The dress is ivory... and the fiancee will have to buy an ivory shirt to wear for the wedding....
The lady at the dress store told me today that i am almost behind when it comes to getting my dress - but since i bought one off the rack (fit me perfectly) i am no longer behind. YEA! Now i just need to go back in the spring to get my vail and a fitting. Fun times!