40th "Anniversary"

So, today is the 40th Anniversary of the assassination of Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
I don't like using the term "anniversary" b/c for me the word represents something good - and using it in this context doesn't seem right.
I had a moment this morning... I don't really know how to explain it... I think it may be a combination of a lot of different things. Stress from work, wedding planning, life.... I was thinking about this guy Zach Sowers in Baltimore who died last week after being attacked about 10 months ago in Canton. His new wife and friends created a blog to document his progress and their battles with the legal system in Baltimore. (All of those involved will be out of jail in 8 years or less and will not be charged or retried for murder since he died. WTF!) I digress... so I was thinking about this guy and his wife and how it really could have been any one of us who these kids targeted...
I've been thinking a lot about the people who were murdered at Virginia Tech almost a year ago...
I have a tremendous amount of respect for my father and always wondered why he never voted - Mom always did and always took us with her when we were little. When I was in high school I asked my dad about this and he told me that when JFK was killed in '63 and then MLK and Bobby Kennedy were killed in '68 he just stopped caring. He felt that the government let him down and that there was no real reason to vote b/c those people that he supported were not supported by their own governments and anyone worth a damn wouldn't/couldn't be elected....
So, this morning I had the Today Show on as I was getting ready for work and they did a piece on MLK and then they started playing his "I Have a Dream" speech and I just started crying.
It just all came out at once.
My profound sadness for what our country COULD HAVE BEEN TODAY if MLK wasn't killed. My sadness that my dad feels our government is worthless. My sadness about Zach Sowers - a guy I never knew. My sadness about what happened at my "HOME" - Virginia Tech...
I don't know. I don't really know how to explain it. Just sad.